Parenting Trends 2017

What will be the “in” things for moms and dads in 2017? We looked at online data and made some educated guesses to come up with our list of the parenting trends that will change the way we raise kids this year.

 1. Nurseries go into the wood Pinterest called it: Fairies, forests, antlers and other woodland motifs will be popping up in nurseries and kid rooms in 2017. Its annual Hot 100 list, which compiles pins with the strongest upward trend, says this nature-inspired décor theme is starting to go big. We love that it’s not too babyish to grow with your child, and it’s gender neutral to boot. Click here for ideas on how to create an enchanted woodland nursery.

 2. Instant Pots will save family dinner Are you still cooking chicken breasts for the full 40 minutes like a chump? You obviously haven’t caught Instant Pot fever. The Canadian-designed Instant Pot (available via amazon.ca at different sizes and price points) may very well be the kitchen gadget to render all others obsolete. Not only is it a multitasking wonder—slow cooker, pressure cooker, rice cooker, steamer, yogurt maker, sauté/browning pan and food warmer all in one—but it promises to speed up cooking by two to six times, which makes getting dinner on the table that much more doable. Instant Pot’s breathlessly enthusiastic fans unite on social media: Instagram has racked up 42,114 #instantpot posts and on Facebook, a worldwide Instant Pot Community some 289,539 members strong is constantly chatting—trading recipes, trouble shooting and gushing over pics of their miraculous meals.

 3. We’ll get wise to sugar We all know that too much added sugar is harmful, but we’re now starting to learn to what degree. Some researchers say this generation might be the first to have a shorter life span than their parents, due to diet and inactivity. In the powerful new book The Case Against Sugar, author Gary Taubes argues that sugar is a contributing factor to not just obesity and diabetes, but to almost every long-term, degenerative disease out there, and it gets its hooks in us during childhood. Cutting out sugar can be especially tough when it’s hidden in so many products (sauces, dressings, deli meat?!), but as more and more health organizations ring alarm bells, many parents are getting hip to reading labels and reducing sugar to break the cycle. Find out how one mom cut it out completely—and how her kids fared with no sweets.

 4. Old-fashioned play will make a comeback The rise of screen time is necessitating a return to ‘70s-era basics to counteract all that passive consumption. In fact, experts say play is a child’s most important job, teaching them everything from social confidence to self-regulation to problem solving, and it’s increasingly being threatened by, yes, screens but also overscheduling and an overemphasis on academics in school. Pinterest has noted an uptick on content about how play and open-ended toys help babies and toddler develop critical skills, and play-based content like our card games how-to and list of fun indoor activities was some of our most popular in 2016. Read more about the value of play and how to help your kid get in the habit of doing it every day.

 5. We’ll love the letter L In 2017, parents will opt for names that roll right off the tongue, often using the letter “L” and smooth, soft vowel sounds, as in Liam, Luna and Lucas, says Laura Wattenberg, author of The Baby Name Wizard. “The overall trend is gearing toward lightness,” she says, “meaning there will be lots of smooth names with no hardened sounds.” Monikers along the Ella continuum will also proliferate, predicts Duana Taha, author of The Name Therapist and baby namer extraordinaire at LaineyGossip.com. Variations

Controversial Parenting Techniques - Take Some From Each

I like this thorough article of controversial parenting techniques. My take on this would be to gain some understanding of each technique and take what works for you from each. If you stick to “rigidly” to just one style then you’re discounting your particular needs, your babies needs and your family dynamics. As with anything, flexibility is key. Read on..

by Elena Donovan Mauer

Swaddling

The controversy: You know the age-old art of wrapping baby in a receiving blanket like a burrito? Well, some think it could be hazardous for baby. Critics say swaddling could cause problems including hip dysplasia, overheating and inability to wake when necessary.

What’s not so bad: Some new parents say swaddling helps baby sleep longer — she may be less likely to startle herself awake when her arms can’t flail. And the International Hip Dysplasia Institute says the practice is okay as long as you’re doing it correctly — don't wrap your little burrito’s legs too tightly.

“With my first daughter, swaddling made a huge difference,” says Kim E.* “She’d sleep for three hours at a time while swaddled and no more than 30 minutes at a time without the swaddle."

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Ferber Method

The controversy: Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems author Richard Ferber, MD, is probably best known for advising parents to let baby “ cry it out” to help him sleep through the night. Critics say leaving baby alone to cry without comforting him is cruel and could be emotionally scarring.

What’s not so bad: Ferber actually endorses “controlled crying” — allowing the child to cry for short periods of time, but not until he falls asleep or all night long. The idea is that babies naturally wake periodically at night. If you want yours to “sleep through the night,” Ferber says he’ll need to learn to fall back asleep without being rocked, fed or sang to, and he can’t learn to do that without practice. While the method isn’t for everyone, many swear it works.

“I feel so rested after 11 months of exhaustion thanks to Ferber,” says Leah R.

Free-Range Parenting

The controversy: Free Range Kids author Lenore Skenazy came under fire after writing that she let her nine-year-old ride the subway by himself. How could she put him in harm’s way like that? Some publications even dubbed her “America’s Worst Mom.”

What’s not so bad: Skenazy breaks down the facts: Child abduction is devastating but extremely rare. Worrywart parents might want to look to her book’s stats to help them realize that hovering over their kids doesn’t prevent bad things from happening, and most of the things they worry about aren’t worth stressing over. Giving kids choices and independence helps them learn to be responsible, says Skenazy.

“I read the book last summer and loved it. So did my husband. I definitely identify with the concept of free-range," says Jen F.

RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers)

The controversy: Made famous by some A-list parents who follow its teachings (Tobey Maguire, Penelope Cruz and Felicity Huffman supposedly), RIE’s more challenged teachings include no tummy time, no fancy toys and not pushing your child in a stroller before he can sit up on his own. Sounds stuffy and cold!

What’s not so bad: The basic principle is to let your child learn and discover things at his own pace, so not forcing him into tummy time or into sitting upright before he’s ready makes sense to plenty of parents. Also, letting baby play with pots and pans and a spoon instead of an overpriced, noisy toy with flashing lights isn’t just easy on your wallet, it’s creative too.

“The point of  RIE seems to be respecting your infant as a person,” says Marcie P. “Another major point is allowing your child free exploration while you have ‘you’ time, and then focusing your love and nurturing during feeding and changing.”

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Babywise

The controversy: In their book On Becoming Babywise, Gary Ezzo and Robert Buckham, MD, offer advice to get baby sleeping through the night starting around seven to nine weeks old. That sounds great to all the sleep-deprived moms and dads out there, but there’s one big problem. They recommend scheduling baby’s feedings for about three hours apart, and that can be harmful to a small baby. AAP News, a publication of The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), says the method “has been associated with failure to thrive, poor milk supply failure, and involuntary early weaning… the program is inadequately supported by conventional medical practice.”

What’s not so bad: Sorry parents, but there’s not much to say here. While the book does get one thing right — getting baby into a daily routine or pattern is good for everyone’s sanity — we can’t get behind a rigid schedule dictated by the clock. Baby needs to eat, and restricting his intake just isn’t right.

“Using Babywise was successful for us in getting my daughter on a schedule,” says Georgia L. “However, I think you have to take some of what it says with the grain of salt and let your own instincts take over. If your child is hungry even though it's only been 45 minutes, don't let the baby cry!”

Co-sleeping

The controversy:  Sleeping with baby in your bed increases her risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), so AAP and US Consumer Product Safety Commission strongly advise against doing it for the first year of her life.

What’s not so bad: One 2013 study found that  co-sleeping increased breastfeeding rates, which is definitely a good thing, but not worth the SIDS risk. Luckily, there are other ways to “co-sleep” that don’t involve bed sharing. For example, having baby in a bedside bassinet or crib in your room is considered safe, could make breastfeeding more convenient and saves you the stress of running back and forth to the nursery all night long.

“We put baby in the bassinet in our room until he was sleeping for most of the night,” says Jane Y. “That was more for our sanity and not having to travel to his room. This worked out very well for us.”

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Elimination Communication

The controversy: Elimination Communication (lovingly called EC by adapters of the practice) is a method used by parents who choose to go completely diaper-free — yes, from birth. Sometimes, family and friends aren’t supportive of skipping diapers. Who wants to invite you for a play date if your little cutie could have a messy accident at any moment? Some doctors say that the practice could mean pushing your child to use the potty too early, and that can cause health problems such as  UTIs and constipation.

What’s not so bad: Supporters of EC swear it makes  potty training go faster and more easily. And not throwing disposable diapers in the trash, or having to wash cloth diapers, is undeniably easy on the environment.

“I started EC when my son was able to sit up on his own around six months,” says Lana G. “I would hold him on the toilet seat. He caught on right away. At two, he is totally potty trained."

“Extended” breastfeeding

The controversy: Did you see that cover of Time magazine, with the mother breastfeeding her three-year-old son? Well, lots of people saw it, and some thought the boy was way too old to be breastfed. Some believe breastfeeding past babyhood could be detrimental to a child’s sense of independence and say there’s no reason to keep doing it.

What’s not so bad: The AAP recommends  breastfeeding until at least age one, and the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding to age two or beyond. Neither recommends a firm age at which you need to stop. Toddlers still receive nutritional benefits from mom’s milk, and no study has proven the practice to be psychologically harmful. Every mom should feel free to choose her and her child’s own right time to stop nursing.

“I breastfed past age two, and I really think it’s the best thing I ever did!” says Renee S. “I think my son has a great immune system and we have a fantastic relationship. I never thought I would go that long, but I did and it didn’t feel strange or unnatural. In fact, it was quite the opposite.”

AttachmentParenting

The controversy:  Attachment Parenting is all about being close to your child. Controversial practices such as co-sleeping and long-term breastfeeding are considered part of this parenting style, but some people have more problems with it than that. Critics say that the practice forces parents to revolve their lives around their children — and all that hovering could result in selfish kids.

What’s not so bad: Supporters of AP say it helps children emotionally bond and develop a sense of trust. It also teaches kindness and compassion — definitely not bad things for a kid to learn. Plus, who doesn’t love cuddling with their kids?

“Some articles portray attachment parenting in such an extremist light, like we're all nursing our 8-year-olds in public and can't leave our kid with a babysitter,” says Gina U. “If you read into it more, you’ll find out it promotes certain ideals like breastfeeding, baby wearing and bed sharing, but that doesn't mean you can't pick and choose what works for your lifestyle.”

"French-Style" parenting

The controversy: Pamela Druckerman’s book Bringing Up Bébé has raised plenty of eyebrows. The author outlines what she learned about parenting while living in France. Parents there practically ignore their kids at the playground (dangerous!) and punish bad behavior without rewarding the good (negative!).

What’s not so bad: Sure, we all want to stop our toddler from climbing too high on the jungle gym before he’s ready and to give him a sticker or two when he uses the potty. But maybe every once in a while, we should let him explore things on his own (within reason, of course) and entertain himself instead of you always getting involved. After all, how else is he going to develop independence and talents? And how else are we supposed to get anything done?

“The part of the book that hit home for me was the one that said you can have a life having kids,” says Maggie G. “It seems that so many women become martyrs for their kids and give up everything, and this book was really good about showing you how to still go to dinner and enjoy hobbies at home with calm, well-mannered kids.”

see original article here

Are You a Guilty Parent?

Original Article by: Ann Smith Healthy Connections
 I rarely meet a parent who denies having guilt about how they have raised their children. For most of us a moderate amount of guilt is actually a sign of love, our strong attachment and commitment to do the best we can to raise healthy children. Of course it is a matter of degrees. As in all things, too much or too little can create a serious problem for both parent and child. The trick is to know we have it and why and more importantly, how it drives our choices and actions in our role as parent. Guilt is an emotion, not a reality or a life sentence. Guilt arises when we become aware of failing to be the best we could have been for our children. It comes and goes and can be mild or debilitating. Guilt tries to tell us something is wrong and needs to be corrected. If it isn't faced it will turn into shame, a feeling of worthlessness and a negative sense of self. Guilt can heal and be resolved with compassion and time. It lessens when shared out in the open and with understanding. Shame is more difficult to resolve. It is not about making mistakes. It is about being a mistake. In time and with help it too can be lessened. What do we feel guilty about? Scroll down...  
These are the Top 20 comments I hear from parents about their guilt:
  • I wasn't there enough.

• I didn't listen.
• I was too focused on the house and work.
• I wasn't affectionate enough.
• I was critical.
• I yelled, hit, and blamed.
• I was a bad role model.
• I didn't take the time to understand my children..
• I wasn't consistent
• I pushed too hard.
• I didn't push enough.
• I spanked.
• I drank.
• I was depressed.
• I fought with my children's dad or mom.
• I got divorced.
• I said hurtful things.
• I was selfish.
• I ignored my child.
• I didn't protect my children.

 When Guilt Becomes Destructive:
Guilt is a normal emotion that can be a warning sign or nudge in the right direction when it arises as a result of inappropriate behavior or stepping outside our own values. For some, guilt becomes a chronic, even obsessive thought process that is no longer connected to a specific mistake or regrettable action. When guilty parents become stuck in their pain they may be unwittingly creating more serious problems for themselves and even their children. If a child becomes depressed, exhibits problem behavior, has ADHD, uses drugs or alcohol, gets poor grades, is lazy, is defiant of authority, overweight, anorexic etc. guilty parents react in a variety of ways to cope with their pain. They may not be aware of the guilt, shame or any of their emotions but will instead act out what is going on internally. Self-blame can appear in many forms including enabling, dramatic pleas for change, threatening, blaming the child for your distress "How could you do this to me," withdrawing, raging, anxiety, hovering or even quitting as a parent. Guilt can linger and follow us long after children are out of the nest. Many parents do not realize that when they are visibly and dramatically upset about how their child is developing or performing, a normal child will internalize that as "I am not enough" or "I'm hurting my Dad and Mom." Since children's well-being depends on their attachment to us, they may work harder to be what they believe we want them to be even it is isn't best for them. Some may run away emotionally, rejecting our help in order to cope. When a guilty parent pushes a child toward perfection, children may feel the need to appear okay while denying their struggles and feelings.

The Good News about Guilt There is a silver lining here. If you're stuck in this cycle of parenting - you can find a healthier way to manager your guilt and/or shame. Remember that parenting does not need to be perfect. Our children learn from every experience in their lives, even our mistakes. If you had a very painful childhood you may be falling into the trap of viewing your children through the lens of your pain. You may be driven by your need to make it all better by giving your children a pain free childhood. Do have compassion for yourself and your painful experiences. But try to separate your past experience from the new and improved approach you are providing for your children. The goal is "good enough" -- not perfection. Children need some challenges and frustrations to become healthy functioning adults. Remember to stand back and look at ourselves and our children as complex human beings. It is obvious that we are all imperfect, unpredictable, inconsistent, driven by heredity and environment, as well as resilient, and capable of change. I remember myself as a young woman of 24, already divorced with a two-year-old son. I had no idea how young I was and how immature.

I made many mistakes and I still have a twinge of guilt, mostly about being selfish and impulsive. However, I now have compassion for myself at that stage of my life. I know in my heart that I did the best I could with what I knew at the time and I had a lot of growing up to do. The guilt I carried about being divorced was a heavy burden for me and my burden could have become a burden to my son. With help I discovered that my child did not have to be okay to convince me that I was a good mother. A wise therapist once told me that children have a right to and a need for their own story in life. That includes making and learning from mistakes which my guilt could not allow. I learned that guilt could no longer play a part in my role as parent. I went on to have a daughter and as my children grew I also had to learn that guilt did not need to be the spoiler in my memories of the joys and challenges of raising them. The key is to focus on the process of parenting, which is basically loving, guiding and reassuring children instead of focusing on the outcome or how they turn out. Learning how to do this will ease the pressure of guilt and will help all of us to accept children as they are and to gradually let go of our role of parenting once they reach adulthood. Ann Smith is the Executive Director of Breakthrough at Caron. For more information, visit Breakthrough online or like Healthy Connections on Facebook.

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Optimize Your Brain with Music

Neuroscientists are discovering multiple ways that musical training improves the function and connectivity of different brain regions. Musical training increases brain volume and strengthens communication between brain areas. Playing an instrument changes how the brain interprets and integrates a wide range of sensory information, especially for those who start before age 7. These findings were presented at the Neuroscience 2013 conference in San Diego.

In a press briefing on November 11, 2013 Gottfried Schlaug, MD, PhD—who is an expert on music, neuroimaging and brain plasticity from Harvard Medical School—summarized the new research from three different presentations at the conference. These insights suggest potential new roles for musical training including fostering plasticity in the brain; have strong implications for using musical training as a tool in education; and for treating a range of learning disabilities.

Playing a musical instrument can cause fundamental changes in a young person's brain, shaping both how it functions and how it is physically structured, researchers say. "Listening to and making music is not only an auditory experience, but it is a multisensory and motor experience. Making music over a long period of time can change brain function and brain structure," Schlaug said. 

Three Brain Benefits of Musical Training:

1. Musicians have an enhanced ability to integrate sensory information from hearing, touch, and sight.
2. The age at which musical training begins affects brain anatomy as an adult; beginning training before the age of seven has the greatest impact.
3. Brain circuits involved in musical improvisation are shaped by systematic training, leading to less reliance on working memory and more extensive connectivity within the brain.

"Music might provide an alternative access into a broken or dysfunctional system within the brain," said Schlaug. Adding, "Music has the unique ability to go through alternative channels and connect different sections of the brain."

Three New Studies on the Brain Benefits of Musical Training

The first study, conducted by researchers at the University of Montreal, asked trained musicians and non-musicians to respond to sound and touch sensations at the same time. Two sounds were delivered at the same time a person received one touch sensation, which was intended to create the perceptual illusion that the person actually had received two touch sensations. 

Since musicians have to simultaneously work their instrument, read sheet music and listen to the tones they produce, the researchers predicted that they would be better at differentiating sound from touch. Their hypothesis was correct. Non-musicians fell for the perceptual illusion, but musicians did not, according to researcher Julie Roy from the University of Montreal. "Musicians are able to ignore the auditory stimuli and only report what they are feeling," Roy said, adding "that this is solid evidence of an improved ability to process information from more than one sense at the same time."

The second study involved brain scans of 48 adults aged between 19 and 21, who had at least a year of musical training while growing up. The researchers discovered that brain regions related to hearing and self-awareness appeared to be larger in people who began taking music lessons before age 7.

These findings seem to indicate that musical training can have a huge impact on the developing brain, since brain maturation tends to peak around age 7, said lead researcher Yunxin Wang, of the State Key Laboratory of Cognitive Neuroscience and Learning at Beijing Normal University. Specifically, these areas tended to have more gray matter leading to a thicker cortex, which is the outer layer of the cerebrum.

The third study found that brain circuitry can be reshaped by musical training through neuroplasticity. For the study, Swedish researchers analysed brain function of 39 pianists who were asked to play a special 12-key piano keyboard while having their brain scanned in an MRI. Ana Pinho, the lead author of the study from the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, reported that systematic training actually helped improve brain areas related to music improvisation. The ability to improvise improved brain connectivity resulting in less dependence on working memory.  

“Pianists who were more experienced in jazz improvisation showed higher connectivity between three major regions of the brain's frontal lobe while they improvised some music,” said Pinho. “At the same time, they showed less activity in brain regions associated with executive functions such as planning and organizing, which could mean that trained improvisers are able to generate music with little conscious attention or thought,” Pinho said.

Playing an Instrument Before Age 7 Benefits Brain Architecture for a Lifespan

The findings presented at the conference are backed by multiple previous studies. In particular, a January 2013 study titled “Early Musical Training and White-Matter Plasticity in the Corpus Callosum: Evidence for a Sensitive Period” published in the Journal of Neuroscience earlier this year reported that musical training before age 7 helped brain development. Children who started taking music lessons early had better connections across the corpus callosum which connects the left and right hemispheres of the cerebrum.

A variety of studies have suggested that early training might be related to greater amounts of white matter in the corpus callosum. This study compared white-matter organization using diffusion tensor imaging in early- and late-trained musicians matched for years of training and experience.

The researchers found that early-trained musicians had greater connectivity across the corpus callosum. Musical training and practice at a young age improved due to the sensorimotor synchronization required to play an instrument. They concluded that training before the age of 7 years results in changes in white-matter connectivity that may serve as a solid scaffolding upon which ongoing experience can maintain a well-connected brain infrastructure into adulthood.

My 6-year-old daughter is lucky to take bi-weekly piano and violin lessons. In addition to practicing a musical instrument, my daughter's daily activities include a broad range of athletics that bulk up the gray matter of both hemispheres of her cerebellum and improve motor skills. Schoolwork and making art increases brain volume and connectivity between both hemispheres of her cerebrum. This combination of activities strengthens the connectivity between all four hemispheres of her developing brain which optimizes brain function.

Some of the brain changes that occur with extensive musical training are reflected in improved automation of task—much as one would recite a multiplication table—and the acquisition of highly specific sensorimotor and cognitive skills required for various aspects of musical expertise.

Conclusion: Musical Training Increases Brain Volume and Connectivity

"Playing a musical instrument is a multi-sensory and motor experience that creates emotions and motions—from finger tapping to dancing—and engages pleasure and reward systems in the brain. It has the potential to change brain function and structure when done over a long period of time," according to Gottfried Schlaug. "As today's findings show, intense musical training generates new processes within the brain, at different stages of life, and with a range of impacts on creativity, cognition, and learning," he concludes. 

"All these findings ultimately could lead to improved therapies for people with brain injuries or learning disabilities," Schlaug said. Adding, "Music might provide an alternative access into a broken or dysfunctional system within the brain. Music has the unique ability to go through alternative channels and connect different sections of the brain."

Original Article Here

Music and Learning Research

Young Children and Music 

Research on music and music therapy suggests that math and music are related in the brain from very early in life (Burack 2005). Musical elements such as steady beat, rhythm, melody, and tempo possess inherent mathematical principles such as spatial properties, sequencing, counting, patterning, and one-to-one correspondence. Music also seems to be related to very primal parts of the brain (Hudson 2011).  Read on......

  Our bodies can-not help but react physiologically to musical input (Thaut & Kenyon 2003; Hasan & Thaut 2004). This implies that even the youngest children have the potential to inherently respond to music and the mathematical con-structs it contains.Recent music neuroscience research indicates that steady beat does affect attention behaviors in humans. We typically process steady beat in the premotor cortex of the brain, an area also related to attention (Bengtsson et al. 2008). Zentner and Eerola (2010) found that 120 infants, ages 5–24 months, were more engaged with rhythm-only stimuli (for example, a steady drum beat) than with speech-only stimuli. The results of this study indicate that children have the potential to be more engaged when listening to steady beats than when listening to verbal-only instructions. Therefore, it is conceivable that listening to a steady beat pattern during mathematics teaching activities in the early childhood classroom could promote better attention and increased engagement in young children. Everyday learning experiences, such as listening to music, are especially important in supporting developing mathematics concepts in children from infancy to 5 years old (Linder, Powers-Costello, & Stegelin 2011). Music is made up of rhythmic patterns and can be structured to make the patterning simple or complex, depending on the activity. Zentner and Eerola (2010) suggest that infants and toddlers have an innate capability to not only see patterns but also hear them in music. Reinforcing these capabilities by teaching patterns through music at an early age may benefit children’s cognitive abilities (Bell et al. 2009; Meltzoff et al. 2009).Teaching patterns to very young children is also a key to the concept of emergent mathematics, which parallels the idea of emergent literacy. As with literacy, emergent mathematics suggests the following:

• Mathematical learning begins very early in life.

• Mathematics is related to many other developmental milestones.

• Mathematics develops from real-life situations in which the child is an active participant.

From an article Kamile Geist, Eugene A. Geist, and Kathleen Kuznik