Monday, September 14, 2009


Observe your child and expect he/she will do the "right" thing or learn from their mistakes.
I use to have confidence in my son. By the time he was 7 (he's now 10) I knew I had taught him enough to make a good choice or if he didn't I could tell him about it and he would learn from his mistake.
As a parent it's easy to want to control or "over parent" your child. These days I find myself feeling like I want to tell my son what to do or how to do something before he even tries it. Somehow, in the last couple of years, I find myself leaning towards "over parenting". I'll correct my son if he makes a mistake before I give him the chance to correct himself. This may be due to the fact that as he gets older I want to make double sure he's going to do the "right" thing. I'm now realizing that if I trust him and trust he'll make a good choice then most of the time he will. If I don't give him a chance before I jump in and correct him then he never gets the chance to make a good choice and he'll never feel he can.
A good example:
I was walking along a trail with my son and my friend. I know my son is respectful of people and animals and is generally observant. My son was walking a ways ahead of my friend and I and coming up from the other direction was a horse (and person riding the horse of course). The trail is fairly skinny and when walking I always step aside and stand still to make sure and not spook the horse and let rider and horse pass.
My son, who is ahead and much closer to the horse, is walking right in the middle of the trail. I immediately have the inclination to holler out to my son in a parental tone, "remember to move over and let the horse pass, don't spook it, give them plenty of room". My friend also says, "you better tell your son to move over."
I almost say it but then something kicks in and I say to my friend, "just watch, he knows what to do." My son keeps walking right in the middle of the trail and I'm ready to yell out to him, "move over", but I squelch it. We've encountered horses on the trail before and I've already taught him what to do. No matter how out of my comfort zone it may be, I'm going to wait.
Well, at the last moment, but still with in plenty of time, he very politely and gently moves over and stands still until the horse passes. The woman rider thanks him and we move on. His time frame in making the right choice was out of my comfort zone but he made a good choice. I held my tongue and trusted him. But I had to make an effort to trust. Even if he wouldn't have made the right choice it wouldn't have been so bad. I could tell him what to do and trust next time he'd do it. At least I would have given him the chance!
Like I said, lately I find myself having a hard time with just sitting back and observing. I am going to try to get back to letting my child make the choice even if it's a little later then I'd like. In that way my child will gain the confidence necessary to make the good choices and learn from his mistakes.
If your child knows you trust him/her then they will trust themselves. If you don't trust them then they will most certainly not be able to trust their own choices.
Sit back, let yourself feel uncomfortable and observe. It gets easier over time.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Drumming with the Family

Drums of all kinds are the commonest and most practical of all musical instruments. The instinct for rhythm appears in all human beings.
Everybody has a tendency to drum, from the nervous tapping of the fingers to the rhythm of our speech.
Use glasses of water to create rhythm with pitch. The higher the water the lower the pitch. Tap the glasses with a pen or pencil. If you're worried about breaking your favorite glasses start collecting jars and use those.
Have one family member play the "tuned" jars, another shake a shaker made with pebbles and a toilet roll taped up on both ends or empty plastic vitamin bottles filled with dried peas. Have another family member tap on pots and pans with chopsticks! A rhythm band!

Check out this great blog for parents! Sassyfrazzbutton
Grab your button here

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Music Education

Early Exposure to Music and Training.
Let your child hear music from the day of his/her birth, and let him/her begin to make music whenever he/she show an inclination to do so.
Musical Training: "But I'm not musical myself," says an average parent, "and know very little about music. What can I do?" The answer is simple! Learn with your child! Anybody at all can learn to sing the nursery rhymes and folk-tunes of the world. It makes no difference if the performance is good or not very good. Your baby is not going to check up on musical standards.
The music of infancy is simple and direct. It should have a strongly marked rhythm and a melody that is easily remembered. Words of Mother Goose have long proved their popularity, and there is no limit to such material.
By the time a child can talk he can also sing and in many cases children have shown the ability to carry a tune even before they became articulate. The sense of rhythm has also expressed itself in many cases before a child can walk!